beatin' the heat and other observations

I came down from the cool highlands of Boquete into the sweltering hot of the lowlands and said, 'aww, helllllll no!' and hopped on the next bus back up to the highlands. To be honest, this was my plan all along but once the heat hit me I was even more motivated to get gone. So I got the next bus up to another place in the highlands called 'Lost and Found'. This place was founded by a few Canadians but I went anyway as it was set up in the cloud forest as a type of nature preserve. They developed a huge system of hiking trails throughout the forest that was quite impressive. They also had a pet kankajou which is always the sign of a top notch place in my book. The kankajou is basically a very large ferret with a long tail it uses as an extra appendage. The hostel had rescued him from a place that made him into a pet but had to get rid of him for some reason. They built a large pen where he could sleep and get some lovin' from the guests. 'Rocky' as he was named, is nocturnal but when he wakes up he starts slamming his tin water dish on the ground until someone comes to play with him. I jumped into the cage with his trainer (I seriously questioned their certification and training) and met Rocky. He was very tame and had a fettish for elbows, which he liked to nibble. Me too, so we got along just fine. He also liked to jump into pockets, as if they led somewhere he could not find but was determined to discover. He put his nose into my rain jacket and shiffed the pocket as if there was a hidden oppening that led to Shangri-La. We had a ball for a bit, then I moved under the main roof as the rain was coming down like crazy. I left the hostel the next day because their was much more rain in the forecast and I really didn't feel like getting wet in the chilly mountain air. the next stop was Bocas del Toro which is on the carribean side of Panama, just below the Costa Rican border. Bocas is actually an archipelago of islands seperated by saltwater coves, bays and mangrove lined causeways. I have no idea what an archipelago is but i've been wanting to fit that word into this blog for months now... and we're getting down to he nitty gritty of the trip so I figured now was as good of time as any. On Bocas, I met up with my old friend Wiley, who used to work with me at the West End Tavern back in the day. Wiley lives down here part time with her beautiful daughter Zeylia. She bought a piece of land down here yers ago and have spent a while building, planting and clearing the land. Her property is almost an hour out of town on the northern end of the island in a remote section known as Boca del Drago. Her land borders the ocean with spectacular views of the mainland and the ocean. I did not stay here as they had other guests already there, but she very graciously set me up with a friend of hers named Kurtis who lived in town and had an extra room I could crash in. I had a blast with Kurtis,

a 60ish expat who loves playing music and loves talking about it almost as much. We drank cans of ice cold beer and got to know each other passing the guitar back and forth. We hit it off right away, but unfortunately he was heading back to The States for his usual summer tour. He left a few days later and I made my way to Isla Bastiamentos, just on the other side of the sound. I got a boat taxi and made my way to a hotel that had jungle access to the 'famous' Red Frog Beach which was quite lovely. I met a British couple and we went for a long walk down the deserted beach until we found some good snorkling. The beaches were great

in fact one had some fresh turtle tracks from a big momma turtle that had laid her eggs the night before. It looks like a big tractor tread track but this is a turtle track. you can kind of see the flipper/feet marks on the side.

Really cool! This beach was actually called Playa Tortuga. On the flip side of a rocky outcropping we found a beach front bar with a observation platform overlooking the waves.



That was pretty sweet too. After 2 nights of desolate beach paradise I went back to Bocas town and met up with Wiley and Zeylia. I melted when Zeylia ran up to me to give me a big hug!

Little kids can be pretty cool when they aren't crying and they are happy to see you. Wow!

april books

Piss poor effort on the books this month. A few things contributed to the poor showing including traveling with someone for 7 days, not finding good stuff to read and my butt being a bit tired of sitting in a hammock... believe it or not. So here goes:
Grimus by Salman Rushdie - His first novel which was very entertaining and made me feel that The Matrix was a big rip off. Salman wrote this in the 70's and 20 years later it was stolen... in idea only mind you.
White Noise by Don DeLillo - Enjoyable in the 'this book has influenced so many people who influence me' kind of way. A bit dated when it comes to some technology issues but the poor guy had no idea, you can't hold that against him.
And that was it... like I said a terrible effort.

dropping the kids off at the pool (in the jungle) with juan valdez and his mule

A beautiful ride south of San Jose through more crisp mountain air with echos of David Lee Roth bouncing through my head brought me to Panama. The ride was excrushiatingly uncomfortable with the guy in front of me tilting his seat all the way back, made worse by the fact that he was sitting in the effective emergency exit row and had the seat in front of him totally removed. I could not even 'reach between my legs... ease the seat back'. But seriously, he could have lain on the floor in front of him quite comfortably, all the while my knees were wedged in with no chance of even the slightest movement. I didn't even have enough room to cramp up, no kidding. At the halfway point we stopped at a rest area and a young Sweedish kid came up to me laughing. He said, "Man, you are looking so not being in comfort with the guy being in front of you put his seat back! I think, 'Oh man, I am being so glad I am not this dude!' And whole time his seat is right in front of your head! I say, 'Oh, Wow!' Tonight you will be in Panama and say 'I deserve beer, thank you very much!' Where you from? I'm from Sweeden, yeah!" . He was sitting a row or two behind me and said the look on my face was sheer entertainment. He was so nice I couldn't be mad at him. Ol' Sir-stretch-my-legs-and-recline-a-lot left the bus right before the border so the last hour was ok. We got into David, Panama right around 5 local time and my new Sweedish friend and I went to a Chinese restaurant nearby our hotel for dinner. David doesn't really have tons to offer in the way of sights or things to do, as much as it is a travel hub for some pretty nice places nearby, so I made my way up to the mountain town of Boquete. Boquete reminds me slightly of Telluride

in the sense that you come from the valley up into the mountains into this beautiful box canyon sort of valley and have this quaint little town in front of you... only surrounded by rainforest here (as opposed to near 14,000 foot peaks in Telluride).... same, but different. The town has recently been named one of the top 5 places in the world to retire (according to Modern Maturity Magazine (I shit you not), so needless to say, there are a lot of grumpy, gimpy old farts running around who drive almost as crazily as the locals, which is no easy feat! (The only difference is the locals know they're driving on the wrong side of the road). Downtown is overlooked in every direction by coffee fincas and the odd gated community. The way things are going it looks like that situation will be reversed in the coming years with the construction of the road into Boquete from 2 to 4 lanes and the expantion of the regional airport into an international one, planned to be completed in the next 2 years. Coffee finca owners are selling plots of land for $1.5million and moving on to other parts of the country. I believe the Talking Heads wrote a song 30 years ago about Mojique, "he sees the foreigners in growing numbers, he sees the foreigners in fancy houses.". It will be very interesting to see what happens to this town in the coming years. Boquete's climate is perfect for growing coffee and has won somethng like 80% of the gold medal awards at international coffee tastings in the past 10-15 years. In fact, I went on this coffee tour at a local farm and was told that of all coffee growing countries, Panama is one of the smallest as far as production is concerned, but has some of the highest quality beans on the market. I was also told that the famous Juan Valdez

(of Columbian coffee '70's pop culture fame) was merely a brand name and that the actors name was Carlos Sanchez. In fact there were 2 actors that played Juan Valdez, but Carlos was from '69 on, so he is the man I am refering to. I am still in shock, barely able to hold on to the few threads that hold my reality together. Worlds are crumbling as my vision of lonely, hard working Juan Valdez (and his trusted steed (read: mule) named Lana) spends a lifetime away from his family and loved ones simply to hand pick the beans for little ol' me and my perfect cup of coffee, made only with the finest Columbian Arrabica beans, "picked by hand, by Juan Valdez". Standing in a hill of furious fire ants quickly brought me back to reality. As I freaked out trying to brush them off my leg I stumbled into a nearby Castor Tree that the tour guide informed me was poisonous. Castor Trees are used to make Castor Oil, which the older folks reading this will remember was used back in the day to help with certain stomach and digestive ailments. They keep the Castor Trees here because they are also poisonous to insects as well and acting as a natural insecticide for the coffee trees. The fruits are poisonous as well. Our guide, Carlos the comedian, stated that 3 of the fruits, if eaten, would kill you. One time, according to Carlos, a woman ate 3 but was fine. Her husband told her to eat 2 more just to be sure it was actually a Castor Tree. Oh, that Carlos! After I got up from my stumble and the Spanish and 2 Irish girls stopped laughing at me we went on with the tour. Actually the coffee tour turned out to be really fun and informative. Too bad I don't drink coffee that often. At least now I know that you are an idiotic fool if you put milk or sugar in your coffee, not to mention that those of you that like French Roast should be shot. Apparently, European Roast (or Light Roast) is the way that one must roast the beans if one is to truely appreciate the delicate and subtle qualities of fine coffee. I also now have a greater appreciation at the (relative) slave labor goes into the process. Quite torturous, to be honest. One of the coolest things was how (this particular finca) used the natural trees (like the poisonous Castor) as cover for the coffee plants. They kept over 40 different types of native trees as shade trees, not to mention the fact that they liked to have birds around, since they eat insects, but not coffee. The whole mentality of the place was really rather forward thinking and very eco-friendly. They also recently got certified by the ISO for their eco friendly use of the land and the treatment of their labor force (I was just kidding earlier about the slave labor because a good coffee picker can make up to $25 a day in Panama as opposed to the $3 a day in El Salvador). The name of the finca was Casa Ruiz (or Cafe Ruiz de Boquete), in case any of you coffee snobs are curious and want to do a Google search. Quite impressive, I have to say! Another day I hiked the world famous Sendero de los Quetzales (Quetzal Trail)


which is really not that famous but a very nice hike through primary rain forest nearby the local volcano. It seemes every town or region has a local volcano down here.... I wasn't all that impressed.

The trail was nice except for the fact the fact that it winds through 2 families backyards. They were members of the local indigenous population and don't speak very much (if any) Spanish and apparently smiling is not a part of their culture too. Although I probably wouldn't smile if some pasty white people had come and stole the land from my ancestors, introduced infectious diseases which my forefathers had no immunity to, forced their strange religion on to me and changed the very nature of my reality, made me wear shirts and full length pants in this stifling jungle heat, not to mention continuously walking through my back yard when I just wanted some peace and quiet from the wife who won't stop nagging me about why I can't provide a simple meal of Possum stew for our family because i'm always so busy using my machette to mow the yard which seems to grow back as quickly as I finish chopping it while this bizarely tall tourist takes pictures of me continuously simply because I own a machette. So, I suppose I can see how they might not smile, but, honestly, all I was looking for was a simple 'hola' or a nod. Is that so much to ask for? Geez, whats wrong with these people, do I need to show them how to make a cheeseburger, I mean, it's not that hard to mess up! Seriously! I don't want Yucca fries, I want french fries. Parlez usted Ingles?! Is that the way you dress looking for a job on a weekday?!

Sorry about that rant, the heat must be getting to me... but I digress. The hike was nice even though I had to poo in the jungle and wipe my butt with a broad leaf plant

that I prayed was not a cousin of the Castor Tree, like at the coffee finca. As bad as I had to go though, I would have been happy if it was a mild irritant but I lucked out and found out by trial and error that it was harmless... so far. Next stop, more mountain rain forest and uncomfortable long distance bus rides. More to come soon!

last days in Costa Rica

After my brief career as a rodeo clown I left my new buddies for Monteverde. This is a very lush area up in the mountains that has a refreshing crispness in the air due to the altitude (4000+ feet above sea level) and great weather for sleeping under a blanket, which is a special treat down here. Monteverde is the site of the original canopy/zip line tour. The terrain is divided between very green pastures and cloud forest, which for all intents and purposes is just another name for a rain forest. The zip lines go from 30 feet to over 1/4 mile

through the trees and over valleys. There was also a 100 foot rappel down through the canopy of the strange, huge trees and a thing they called a tarzan swing. The tarzan swing was basically a pendulum where they pushed you off a platform and let you swing through the forest until you slowed down a bit. But don't worry, it was all very safe as this pic of the government tested rubber tire tube that was clearly meant for this exact purpose.

Hilarious. Actually, they were quite safe and professional. The last zip line was the longest one and they gave you the option of being harnessed in the rear so you could look down on the valley as you sped across it.

This was definitely one of the highlights of the trip, so far. I have seen a lot of cool things, had some great experiences and met some killer people but there was something really unique about flying through the air above and between thick jungles. At one point I went on a shorter zip line and went past a howler monkey that growled a bit, just to make his prescence felt. He was only 20 feet away and really shocked me. Supposedly howler monkeys are quite goofy and silly but I was definitely in his territory and not in my own element. The guides chuckled at the look on my face and asked if the monkey scared me. They did not believe my answer that it only suprised me, most likely because I didn't believe me. The tarzan swing was a favorite of the entire group and it was very fun to hear some very primal emotions. Once the guides hooked you in they pretty much did not give you a warning and pushed you off the platform. There was a split second fall before you started swinging through the forest. It was at this point that most people screamed in terror and soon after started laughing uncontrollably. The more primal the emotion, the more we all sound alike. I was the first person to go off the swing and had a good view of all the people drop as the rest of the group follwed me. I truely enjoyed the swing in emotions of my fellow zip liners as much as the rope swing, itself. Later on in the afternoon, one of the guys from the group and I went to the Santa Elena Reserve and hiked for about 4 miles through the rain forest. The pics don't do it justice because this place was so thick with vegetation.

I can not imagine getting lost in a forest like this. I think I would just lie down and give up. It was so disorienting and impassable that it would take you three days to go 1 mile and you would most likely go in circles. There are tons of birds with some really strange sounding calls that make you feel like you are just about to get bombarded by some strange predator. I truely felt like I was on another planet.

The next morning I was off, in a mini van, going over some ridiculously beautiful terrain. This part of Costa Rica got it the nickname of 'Switzerland of Central America', which is a terrible nickname. I understand the idea, the terrain is very lush, green, dramatic ridges and beautiful pastures with good lookin' cows (seriously, first cows in C.A. where I couldn't see their ribs) but the land is so different. Anyway, after an hour and a half I hopped on a boat across man made Lake Arenal which had the famous volcano of the same name at the far end.

Another mini van into La Fortuna, on the east side of the volcano. Volcan Arenal is one of three majorly active vocanoes in the Americas. The others are Pacaya, which I hiked to in January, and the volcano in Hawaii. Or at least that's what the guide told us. The volcano is almost always shrouded in a cloud which makes seeing the eruptions more rare than common. It does peek its head out at times, but you have to be patient. I went on a hike through the rain forest near the base , up to the side of the volcano, into an observatory but the clouds never lifted. It was really cool to hear the eruptions though. Apparently this volcano does not have a steady flow, but a more random belching of lava rocks that come barrelling down the side of the mountain. You hear an explosion, then loud crashes that get softer as the big rocks break up bouncing down the mountain. The hike was great as the guide told stories about how he climbed the volcano many times although it is illegal to do so. He didn't seem to be too worried a bout his safety which made me question his ability as a guide but we all got back safely, for whatever that's worth. After La Fortuna I hitched a ride down to San jose with these 2 guys from the States and England, respectively. The drive was incredibly beautiful through these high altitude farm towns. The temperature dropped into the 60's from the high 90's in a matter of 30 minutes. The little towns were great, including this one with a crazy town square that was ruled by pot smoking teens, both literally and figuratively. These shrubs and hedges are proof of the latter. Back into San Jose for one last night in Costa Rica and off to Panama in the morning.

mess with the bull, you get the horns

The next day I met up with the gang and moved into the house. My room was an open air second floor room under an awesome palm frond roof that was over the open air kitchen and living area.

I suppose if you have beautiful weather all year round the thing to do is have an open air living room, which I quickly became a big fan of! That night all of us piled into the rented passenger van and made our way to the rodeo!

First we made our way to some friends of our hosts who were renting this incredible house up in the mountains that overlooked the entire beach. It had an infinity pool nad tons of monkeys around including this one just a few yards from the deck.

Whoops, that's more proof I was here, the monkey is here.

This is a howler monkey. His arm is on the left with his head peeking through. His tail is on the right and if you look closely, just below that you can see some extremely uncomfortable looking reproductive organs just hanging out for everyone to see. No wonder they howl like a beast in pain, it is a tough life swinging from the trees with a set like that! After a quick grimace of pain at my fellow male two legged cuz, we were off to the rodeo. I have to say I was very excited because the rodeo here is a big event. It runs on Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday just a few times a year and everyone in this small town including all of the surrounding areas come out, dressed to the nines! We ate some of the local food (mystery meat grilled on skewers, cotton candy and caramel filled churros) and made our way in to the main event. The ring is circular and everyone rushes to get a seat on the fenceposts that surround the ring.

This is basically in the ring! Your legs hang into the ring and when the bulls come by you have to lift your legs out of its reach! Fantastic! The best part is that the drunks jump into the ring and hang out until the bull gets close and they all run for cover or slide under the fence to safety.

The bravado inspired me and I jumped into the ring! I am not kidding. We were sitting on the part of the circle directly across from the gate where the bulls are released.

After the riders are ejected or jump off they let the bulls run around the ring as the locals watch and laugh at the stupid people, like me, in the ring. At first I stayed near the edge of the ring and when a bull looked in my direction from 30 yards away I would jump up the fence. After a few bulls I felt more at ease and stayed longer and longer. At one point I actually wandered out to the center of the ring as the bull was released with the rider on it. Flip flops are not the preferred footwear for such events but I never got too close to the bulls so it didn't really matter. One of the highlights was when a member of our group went behind a bull and pulled its tail and slid under the fence as the entire crowd laughed. No one went to the hospital and afterwards we went to the rodeo disco which was the icing on the cake! I am waiting on some photos from some of my new friends with me in the center of the ringbut will post them as soon as I get them. I'm not sure how you say 'giddyup' in Spanish but i'm doing some research!

dumb luck with a crazy lizard

After Ometepe I made my way to San Juan del Sur, which is on the Pacific coast of Nicaragua. It used to be a little fishing village and is now the most popular surf destination in Nicaragua along with many weekend homes of Nicas with lots of money.

It is a charming enough town with a laid back vibe and nothing especially unique about it. That is not to say it is a boring town, just nothing great happened to me here. The best part of the town was a $5 dinner of some of the best grilled chicken I have ever eaten. The nice family sold it out of their house every night, right across from my hotel. They said they marinated it in orange juice, mango, tamarind and a bunch more fruits and spices that I forget. It came with the best gallo pinto (spiced up black beans and rice) I have had on this trip, along with a great cabbage salad that was served with super thin fried plantains. Everything was fantastic and it made me realize some people can just cook! The next day I was leaving for Costa Rica, so I said goodbye to the chicken and was off first thing in the morning. Border crossings can be very difficult depending on the time of day, amount of traffic, mood of the customs officials and a bunch of other things. So when I got to the bus station at 6:30am and a fella asked me if I wanted a taxi to the border for $20 I jumped at it. It took about 30 minutes in the taxi instead of 90+ minutes on the bus... well worth it in my book. As I got out of the cab a hustler kinda fella led me through the customs lines (which were very small at the time) and got me to the Costa Rican side in no time, all for a $5 "tip". There was no line on the Costa Rican side and the customs guy had me processed in about 30 seconds. As soon as I exited the customs booth a bus was leaving for Liberia where I needed to connect with the next bus. The last time I crossed this border it took about 3 hours and I had just done it in 15 minutes.... amazing. In Liberia there was a bus to Nicoya leaving right when I got there. I got into Nicoya around 10:45am. I was hoping to get to Liberia (2 hours before Nicoya) by noon and was way ahead of schedule. I only had to go about 2 more hours to get to the beach to meet my friend Devlin who was coming in to Costa Rica for a week from Colorado. Perhaps I got a bit cocky at this point and the travels gods got a little angry at me. The next bus for the beach was at noon, so I sat around in the bus station for over 2 hours waiting for the bus that ended up being over an hour late. The beach where I wanted to go (Playa Guiones)is 5 miles away from the town of Nosara, which is inland by those 5 miles. The bus passed the beach and went on to Nosara where I got off at the last stop. Only problem was that I had no idea where I was or where I was going. I asked some questions to the locals I ran into and got no definitve answers, most likely because I had no idea where I was supposed to be going. You see Devlin and I had both never been here and there is no real good meeting place in town, so I was kinda without a plan which is not a really good plan. Right before sunset I found a nice guy who called a taxi for me and got me to my hotel. I had only read a few reviews online about the hotel and had forgotten the name, but after some back and forth the driver figured out I wanted to go to the "Gilded Iguana" not some 'crazy lizard place'. I checked in at 6pm, which was very disappointing after such a fast start to my day. I had walked about 6 miles around town (mostly in circles) with my 30lb backpack in 95 degree heat and was in desperate need of a shower. After my shower I found a place at the bar and ordered a beer, feeling very clean and refreshed. I had not really planned on getting all the way to Playa Guiones in one day, with the border crossing and all, but here I was.


I was supposed to meet up with Devlin the next day so I just settled into the bar for dinner and a few beers when some crazy, laughing girl attacked me from behind. Of course, it was Devlin, who had just gotten into town and her gang decided to have dinner at the exact hotel I was staying at. Dumb luck, but we just laughed and went with it. All her friends (whom I had never met) were all very nice and super cool. Two of them (Ryan and Cat) owned a share in a vacation home down here and they, very graciously, offered to put me up for a few days. The digs were fantastic and were definitely the nicest of any place I have stayed yet, on this trip. It was looking like a little vacation from my vaction was on the horizon. For a few days, at least.

o muh whaat?

Right smack in the middle of Nicaragua is a lake.... big lake. Some time ago two volcanoes popped up and created an island in the middle with a tiny isthmus between the two. The big volcano is Concepcion and the smaller is Maderas. The island is called Ometepe and that was my next destination.

Don't worry this is not the island itself, merely an artists rendering. I hopped on a little boat that resembled a tugboat and went accross the lake to the island. The water got pretty rough and I once again felt a false sense of manliness by not vomiting. In fact I have not gotten sea sick on any boats this trip. Of course the water has never been more than a few feet and choppy but I now consider myself a seafaring fella. Ahoy, Whitey! Isla Ometepe is quite a unique place. Lots of wildlife, tons of birds and two kinds of monkeys. A taxi driver told me that years ago they passed a law saying that you could not shoot any animals on the island... except of course for chickens and dogs, he said. Awesome! I suppose they got a good view of keeping the animals safe and keeping tourists comingback. The first day I rented a motorcycle with Swiss Chris whom I have been traveling with. We rode all aound the island. The road circling the big volcano was paved but the road circling the other smaller volcano was dirt track and very bumpy. I have not ridden a motorcycle for over 25 years so I was slightly nervous. I figured it out pretty quickly and was off. As we crossed the island we saw tons of birds, a few howler monkeys and tons of smiling faces. As we got to the other side of the island we stopped for some water. When I got back on the bike I sorta spun out and fell down. A few locals ran outside to see what the hubub was about and started laughing at me. I was more than happy to provide a little entertainment. As I got back on the bike I realized that I did what I do with every rental peice of equipment that i'm on which is break it. The gear shift by my left foot was bent and as I tried to bend it back into place it snapped off. Luckily I was in second gear so for the rest of the trip I went a whopping 35km per hour. Seriously, it could not have happened at a furter point away from the start. To turn back would be the same exact distance as it would be to go on. I could not help but laugh at my clumsiness. We stopped at a hippie ecolodge that Swiss Chris wanted to stop at ate some delicious fresh bread which is very rare around here. Bread does not seem to be a thing the Central Americans concern themselves with. The bread that you can find is usually a glorified Wonder bread so this was indeed a rare treat. Then we went to a natural pool fed by volcanic waters called Ojos del Agua. Pretty spot but were terrorized by the local parrot gang who would not stop squawking and buzzing the tower of my noggin. I brought the hobbled bike back to the shop and had to pay an extra $30 for the part that I broke. What are you gonna do?! The tourism industry on Ometepe has taken a hit lately because Volcan Concepcion erupted less than a month ago. The hotel we were at still had a lot of ash on the leaves of the plants and the peak lost 100 meters of height in the blast. That is about 300 feet in a single minor eruption. When I heard this there was only one thing to do... run! The next morning a few of us got a guide and headed up the volcano. Elmer (our guide) would only take us up to 1200 meters of the 1600 meter volcano due to the recent activity. In addition to being bummed we could not go to the top I was disapointed when he would not let me take my machete. Apparently my pre-school arguement of 'but you have one' was not persuasive enough.


My disapointment was soon overshadowed by my inability to keep enough oxygen in my lungs and my profuse sweating. It has been a month or two since I had hiked and I was feeling it! As we got to the arbitrary 'do not cross this line' of 1200 meters I was overjoyed that we could stop going up and start to descend. The hike was really nice but rather steep near the end.


The wind was whipping but the sun was out and the views were great so I was very happy to have done it. We went down a different path and went through some pretty thick jungle trails. Now is the end of the dry season and the previous rainy season was one of the driest on record so the jungle was not as thick as usual but it didn't stop me from thinking I was grabbing a snake everytime I went to grab a branch. I believe the word is paranoia. At this point I wished I had a smaller machete that I could have concealed from Elmer until after the hike was well along the way. Hmmmm, note to self. Looks like I might once again be heading to little place called machete-town!